Trust

For several years, I’ve had an interest in the theory and practice of leadership.  Hundreds and hundreds of books have been written on the subject and probably as many classes or courses offered. 

Collaborative leading, where each member of the team has a stake and a leadership role, is the preferred model.  Circumstances may not permit collaboration in every case – emergencies require action, after all.[1]  But even the military is recognizing that all members of the team can contribute to reaching the goal.  Most often, the wisdom of all is better than the wisdom of one.

Trust.  If you have trust in a person, group or institution, there is no question about intolerance.  A lack of trust is basically a prerequisite for intolerance. 

Trust is important in any relationship. Major Christopher Kolenda wrote about trust as an essential element of military leadership:

“Leadership is about trust – trust in the leader’s vision, trust in the leader’s competence and character, trust in the leader’s respect and care for those under his or her charge.  Every effective bond between people has trust as its bedrock. Every failed relationship is ultimately an actual or perceived breach of that trust.  Leadership is so difficult because earning that actual and perceived trust is so challenging.  Successful leaders earn the trust of others, and in doing so inspire that voluntary spirit and act of following.”[2]   

So how does one go about gaining trust in a person.  My good friend Richard Branton has said that you can’t make someone trust you.  He/she has to like you – or have an affinity for you – before trust is possible.  You can’t make someone like you, either.  That only comes after you get to know the person.  And that process requires communication.

So, as Richard would say, communication leads to affinity leads to trust.

You can’t trust someone without first getting to know that person.

The best way to fight intolerance is to get to know the person you think you fear.  Fear, after all, is the foundation of intolerance.  Remove the fear and the foundation for trust appears.  And even if trust never fully develops, the edge is taken off, and some measure of respect can allow for progress. 

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[1] See John Kotter, What Leaders Really Do (Harvard Business Press, 1999).  See chapter on Choosing Strategies for Change.

[2] Leadership:  The Warrior’s Art, Christopher Kolinda (The Army War College Foundation Press 2001), page xix.