Dialogue or Discussion

The format is loosely based on ideas contained in The Fifth Discipline, by Peter Senge.  I have found this to be a valuable resource and I think many of you would enjoy reading it.

We should consider having a dialogue rather than a discussion.  The difference is subtle, but important.

A Discussion suggests a game, like Ping-Pong.  Hitting ideas back and forth.  The subject of the discussion is dissected from many points of view provided by those who take part.  While this can often be useful, the point of a game is normally to “win”.  That is, have your point of view accepted by the group.

A Dialogue, on the other hand, is not based on “winning”.  Everyone wins in a dialogue, if it is done right.  in dialogue, a group examines complex and difficult issues from many points of view.  Individuals suspend their assumptions, but communicate those assumptions freely.  The result is a free exploration that brings to the surface the full depth of people’s experience and thought, and yet can move beyond their individual views.  People are not in opposition, nor are they “interacting”.  They are, rather, participating in a pool of common meaning, which is capable of constant development and change.

In a dialogue, people become observers of their own thinking.  

In our hectic world, very very few of us actually take time to slow down and reflect.  Suspending our assumptions is one good way to do that.  It is especially helpful to imagine our assumptions as a globe, hanging from a thin thread, right in front of our eyes.  That way, as we process the information from others in the dialogue, we can examine our assumptions from any and every angle.  

Often, this exercise will help us to see, perhaps for the first time, that we actually think differently than we say.  Senge calls that exposing the “left hand column”.  We may say one thing in response to a situation, but think something completely different.  In “exposing the left-hand column”, we state our mental concerns aloud.

We are also asked to face up to the distinctions between espoused theories (what we say) and theories in use (the implied theory in what we do.)  

I know that I need to reflect more on my closely held beliefs.  It’s always a good thing to check on ourselves.  I’d bet we’d learn more about ourselves, and about the world, if we did.  

In a way, it’s walking a mile in our neighbor’s shoes.